Never
If you think just right
If you’ll love you’ll find
Certain truths left behind
~neverlost; the smashing pumpkins
The only thing that’s constant is change. Life is a series of updates, patches, closing of bars and such.
We will lose our hangout spot tonight they say. Something in me says that it’s not forever but perhaps that’s just my vain hope speaking.
Of such consequence
September 5, 2007
The Consequences You Sow
Action And Effect All motive and action affects the cosmos in some way. The principle of cause and effect is the truth that allows us to change ourselves and the world around us for the better. However, this same universal law is also at work when change is not at the forefront of our minds. Our intentions flow forever outward in the form of energy, affecting both the people closest to us and billions of individuals we will likely never meet. For this reason, we should strive always to speak, think, and behave with great thoughtfulness and compassion. The virtues we choose to embody can inspire joy and integrity in the lives of countless people, whether we touch their existence directly or not.
The influence we wield is infinite. In an effort to internalize our conscious understanding of the nature of cause and effect, we can never truly know how our thoughts, emotions, words, or actions will manifest themselves on the larger universal stage because it is likely that the furthest-reaching effects will fall outside the range of our perception. We can only look to the guidance of our conscience, which will help us determine whether each of our choices is contributing to humanity’s illumination or setting the stage for unintended troubles. When we are in doubt, we need only remember that the cultivation of altruism inevitably leads to a harvest of goodwill and grace. Motivated by a sincere desire to spread goodness, we will be naturally drawn to those choices that will help us express our commitment to universal well-being.
Nothing you do, however minor or mundane, is ever exempt from the rules of cause and effect. From the moment of your birth, you have served as an agent of change, setting forces beyond your comprehension into motion across the surface of the earth and beyond. You can exert conscious control over this transformative energy simply by examining your intentions and endeavoring always to promote peace, positive energy, and passion in your ideas and actions. While you may never fully comprehend the extent of your purposefully heartfelt influence, you can rest assured that it will be universally felt.
When I am alone
“Then again the thoughts reappear
Coalesce
Droplets of remembering
Streams
Running around like we were children
Careless
Talking about what defines us
Movies
Music
Art
A few of many stolen moments.”
I am reminded all the time that each of them were simply borrowed. And so is the now, the good that I have, my comfort and safety that I revel in. The blessings of being with another being. Sweet joy of waking up next to someone – a whole different world, he is, really, he is.
The strange thing about being with someone for me is that one minute you think you know them inside and out, you know what they will say, you know what they will do – but then really, who is that person?
An entirely new and strange universe of memories, experiences and scars too, just like me.
“I want to be with you.”
Enough of negativity
Sometimes it feels as if I was walking through a long, dark and lonely tunnel. During this time, nothing around me is any different from before, the same old doldrums and problems and boring menial tasks are there, but the only thing that changes is the way I see them. I can’t control it very well, and the entire week had me seeing things in the most tiring and saddest way I could. Like I had a cloak over my head that kept sucking all my energy and desire to be connected to anyone. It’s pretty horrible.
Sometimes it happens after a long spell of being happy and content; one minute I’m on the moon and the next I’m stuck in the land of sorrows. Anything anyone says to me just starts a whole long neurotic trip and I find myself lost.
It helps that I have many really supportive friends around, and a social network that is there to catch me when I fall. I can’t help but think that when something horrible really does happen, would I sink even further into that abyss? Scary thought.
So thank you to my buffers; thanks T and HC and anyone else who made it easier with a smile and a hug.
Now, enough of that blackness and nonsense – for now!
Concept Art
Stumbled across this really cool site while searching for superheroes and villains online.
everything is fun for a while then it rots
It’s true, fun, that’s the one most ephemeral thing I know. You think you found it, found a little spot of happiness and peace but then it gets ripped right out from under your unsuspecting nose and then once again, you are unhappy. It’s gone.
The sucky thing about that is that once it’s gone, nothing much will bring it back.
Some things act as milestones; when you are 2 months old, you’ll learn to roll over. At 3 months, you can lift your head up to look at people. At 9 months, you walk, and have your first fall. In relationships too, there are milestones – some of them aren’t as happy as walking, and the accidents that occur are more painful than the first falls you have because unlike them, these accidents stay in your memory.
I try to stay thankful for my moments, for the gifts in this life that have been so kindly left at my feet. So perhaps too I’m thankful for the little falls, the heartbreaks, and future disagreements. But I have been so unhappy with myself lately.
Perhaps I will stop playing WoW for a while.
It’s doing things to me.
ghost month climactic
It’s been one of those strange weeks.
Really weird cases in the hospital – man arrives with a tree branch stuck in his upper left chest (not as horrible as this week’s Grey’s Anatomy though); someone died because their received kidney got punctured by his fractured pelvis (what’s a kidney doing sitting on his pelvic bone in the first place?) and every patient in ICU is really in that limbo land between living and dying. I kid you not.
Weird me as well. So tired and so empty and confused in the head. More than usual.
Ghost month is ending soon. Perhaps the spirits will also leave the ward.
*
Inclusive and exclusive; we
Some languages, in particular the Austronesian languages, Dravidian languages, and many others such as Taiwanese (Min Nan) and Mandarin have a distinction in grammatical person between inclusive we, which includes the person being spoken to in the group that is included in we, e.g.:
- We can all go to the zoo today.
This contrasts with exclusive we, which excludes the person being spoken to, e.g.:
- We mean to stop your evil plans!
English does not draw this distinction in its grammar. In terms of pronoun usage, most Native American languages are far more specific than Indo-European languages, regardless of the languages’ families. Cherokee, for instance, distinguishes between four forms of “we.” These are: “you and I (inclusive dual)”; “another and I (exclusive dual)”; “others and I (exclusive plural)”; and “you, another or others, and I” (inclusive plural). Fijian goes even further with six words for “we,” with three size categories—dual, small group (three or four people), and large group—and separate inclusive and exclusive forms for each size category.
*
Even though it’s English we are speaking:
when he says “We” and he’s not referring to him and I;
it feels weird.
Maybe I put too much value in the words “Us”, and “We” – as though they were saved for who you are with currently or who you are with in your mind’s eye.
But yes, he still says “we used to….”.
*Sigh
*
Why
Things that haunt us;
Sounds
Sights
Smells
An old hangout -
Or a horrible habit.
A certain phrase
Taste
Feeling or idea
Sheets of cotton, the sound of morning birds chirping
The scent of rain
and wet soil.
The wafting of incense
and mosquito coil.
